Late-Night Devo: Enough of Not Being Enough
When you measure people, you’re either winning or losing, living in a space of pride or feeling defeated. — Pastor Alli Munsey
I’ve had enough of not being enough.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve never felt as if I was good enough to really be the girl — and then the woman — I wanted to be. I never felt confident enough, pretty enough, and sometimes, not even smart enough.
My kinky curls are not long enough, my work is not praised enough, my waistline is not small enough. I’m not a good enough mom, sister, friend, or daughter. My wardrobe is mediocre at best. My drive could be better, and so could my career.
But this week, I decided, I’ve had enough of not being enough. Friday’s City Chicks Night at City Church of Chicago was about just this feeling. And after bringing in the weekend with a packed house of ladies praising God and encouraging one another, I made the decision that I was tired of not feeling like I’m enough.
The things that I stress about, the areas in which I feel inadequate, and the parts of my life that I say aren’t good enough are all either one of two things: superficial or just plain untrue.
My superficial feelings of inadequacy come straight from a human but very unhealthy place. It’s natural to compare our physical traits and outward appearance of success with others. And since I didn’t grow up with self-esteem and started to build confidence as a much older adult, those feelings can easily creep into my psyche, overwhelming my sense of inner peace and skewing my perception of my place in the world. What I’ve been getting wrong, in this case, is this worldly comparison of my strength and my worth.
But, my worth doesn’t lie in these trivial things. I’m worthy because God says so, because he made my hair kinky and my hips wide. He made me sensitive, talkative, and extra emotional. He gave me every talent and skill I possess. He made me.
Psalm 139:13 says, “you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” There’s not a part or piece of me that was not intentional, not meaningful, not purposeful. And, He is the greatest creator.
Then, there’s the other side of not feeling enough: the untrue side. It’s the little voice that tells me that I can’t do the hard parts of life well. It says that as the mom of a special needs kid, I’ll never get it down. It says that my career won’t grow and that I won’t prosper. It says all these things that infer that I’m weak, unmotivated, and unable to do great things.
In this case, 2 Corinthians 12:9 is the perfect reminder — one that I’ve repeated over and over since Friday night’s festivities. In it, Paul says that God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Personal strength has nothing to do with power when you are a child of God. He doesn’t expect us to work alone, and when we try to attack massive problems, He’s always there on the sidelines, waiting for us to call Him into the play. How amazing it is to know that we don’t have to do it all alone! How wonderful it is to have a God whose strength is even easier to see when we are weak!
Paul then says, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” It is essential, in every case, to brag on God’s goodness and strength. It’s necessary to show how powerful He is. And, it’s fundamentally vital that we remember it all.
So, God, I thank You. I am enough because I am a part of You.